Listless and Lifeless

Because I have no life, I am back. In case you have no life, which is why you're probably reading this in the first place, you're in luck because today is a two-fer. You get two posts for the price of one, which reminds me, if you haven't sent in your subscription fees yet, please do so promptly--my kid's birthday is coming up, and I need the dough for the gift. Just think, you could be responsible for a young boy or girl's (I haven't decided if I have an imaginary son or daughter yet) tragically giftless fourth birthday. You cheapos can only get away with that stuff with me, since I only have one birthday every four years and only expect gifts accordingly.

Anyway, I also noticed that my life and this blog are both listless. So, here you go:

MY TOP 10 MOVIE-GOING EXPERIENCES

1. "Drag Me To Hell" at the Virginia Theater (Summer 2009)--yes I went with my ex-girlfriend who was my ex at the time and that kind of sucked, but it was still the coolest trip to the theater. It was my first time at the Virginia, which is the closest thing my community has to offer to the old-time palace theaters. The whole way there, I was thinking of the scene from "Donnie Darko" where Jake Gyllenhaal and Jena Malone go to the theater to see "The Evil Dead." Sam Raimi didn't fail to deliver with "Drag..." either--full of disgustingly funny scenes with old gypsy fortune tellers drooling into the pretty blonde's mouth, etc. the whole lot. When I got to the little ticket booth out front, I excitedly said "Two for 'Evil Dead,' please." The young vendor looked at me confused while my ex laughed, knowing exactly where my head was at.


















2. "Star Wars IV: A New Hope" (re-release c. Summer 1996)--this was my favorite movie when I was a kid. I had a crappy VHS recording from when it was broadcast on television, and I probably wore out the tape from watching it so many times. When I saw it on the big screen for my friend, Parker's birthday party, it was truly amazing, like some unspoken force had settled over all of us and the theater.

























3. "Space Jam" (Summer 1996)--that same year, we went to see "Space Jam" for my birthday. Then the nine or ten of us went back to my house and played ball out back until it was too late and the neighbors were going to yell, so we moved the game into the basement and had slam dunk contests on the Little Tikes basketball hoop down there.

















4. "Crazy Heart" (Summer 2010)--I returned to the Virginia Theater alone, but the movie simply did it for me, plus I just like that theater. Jeff Bridge's was pretty good as Bad Blake, though I never necessarily bought the relationship with Maggie Gyllenhaal. The cruising music and western scenes against the country bars and honky tonks made it worthwhile and I never noticed I was in a theater by myself. What a loser.
















5. "Rango" (Summer 2011)--although the first movie I saw at the Art Theatre was "The Light Thief," the second that I saw later that day was "Rango," and I found it hilarious. Plus, I got to sit and drink a beer and munch some popcorn at a place that uses all recyclable and bio-degradable products, gives you a punch card for your popcorn with a pretty generous free per scale, and gives you ten percent off for every fifty bucks you spend, which is pretty easy with the great stuff that they show. "Rango" was the late night flick, and it was funny but also thoughtful in its own right but it also took me back to "An American Tail: Feivel Goes West," one of my childhood favorites.
















6. "Titanic" (1997)--I absolutely hate it now, and I hate the fact that I saw it like three times like all of the other idiots when it came out. But I do have to admit that it was the first movie that I took a "date" to, so it gets its spot...6 is probably way too high, maybe I'm just being sentimental and sappy now, so moving on.




















7. "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" (Summer 2005)--it's the only movie I've ever seen at the drive-in and we danced and sang and laughed at the yahoos on either side of us dressed like sluts, like that b%*@! Jane--oh Susan Sarandon, you know you secretly love that movie still.






















8. "Troy" (Summer 2004)--the movie was terrible, but I went with eleven friends all crammed into a Mountaineer, there may have even been twelve--I know for a fact it was at least eleven. It was the first time I was exposed to a lot of things and probably the first time I drank in a movie. We all went to the playground afterwards and danced around like wild jackasses. I forget who won the war, but that Brad Pitt has some nice glossy muscles...

























9. "The Tree of Life" (Summer 2011)--I'm not sure if I really want this one on the list mainly because I think if I go see it again at the theater that the second trip will far surpass the first. Still, it was a great movie. Again, it was made more enjoyable at the Art Theatre venue, and I feel like I probably saw the 2011 version of "2001: A Space Odyssey."
























10. "The Wall" and "Apocalypse Now (Redux)" (some past Ebert Fest)--I put these two at number ten because I never made it, never saw them on the big screen at the Virginia Theater, and they most surely would have been in the top five on this last had I been there. Damn.



Still Day 12: Tomorrow's Coming Attraction--something about The Velvet Underground and Nico and a nice phallic Banana poem that you may or may not have already read. Cheers. Look for more bad lists in the near future.